I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
