Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Life is so much better after having sex.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
