Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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