How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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