I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
