Betty ford says i'm here all night
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
