porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize