Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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