Cold hands, warm shart.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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