conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
