Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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