guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Everyone says I win the strip club
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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