I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
