I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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