My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
