We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
