I wish you could order shots online.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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