real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
