you would pick up someone in the library
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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