Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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