weddingsv make me drug and hornr
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
