I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
