Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
