hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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