Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
