She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
