I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
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