I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
