This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
