it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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