i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
