he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
