he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
