Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
