Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
