isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
