Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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