am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
