there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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