you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
