So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
