anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
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