Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(905): View more from Toronto

Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat

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(404): View more from Georgia

dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs

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(913): View more from Kansas

the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.

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(720): View more from Colorado

What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to

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(903): View more from Texas

The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.

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(785): View more from Kansas

He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms

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(540): View more from Virginia

Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave

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(870): View more from Arkansas

So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up

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