Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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