Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
