This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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