I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize