sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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