i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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