I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
