I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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