She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
