Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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