So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
