Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
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Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
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I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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