We won't sleep together?
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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