Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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