Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
