Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
