We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
