If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
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The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
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If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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