Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
