That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
