How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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