Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
